Tackling your Imposter
If you’ve read A Date with my Imposter, you’ll already be clued up on the theory that Imposter Syndrome is born from different places for everyone. So, we asked @themindsetarchitect what we could all do to help connect our dots and overcome imposter syndrome:
Well, firstly, the best advise I can give? Step away from google for the repeated answer that applies to the masses but has little transpersonal effect. Turn towards yourself, because, you have the answer… you, know yourself, the best. YOU are your own guru, fact.
When I work with clients, I always invite them to see things with a new pair of metaphorical learning lenses; how we perceive and see the world and our private logic all affect our processing skills…. so I invite you to maybe try something new… ready?
Where to start
Ok. Think of all the parts of you, as your very own internal orchestra. The drum, harp, etc. These are the parts of you… perfectionist, martyr, critic, pleaser, imposter, the list goes on! There are so many parts of us, and they can work in harmony or like a cacophony! Your orchestra needs you, as the conductor, but, when you face challenges, threats, triggers… they take over, I’m sure we have all experienced our critic kick-off?
I invite you to think about your imposter with a personality. With needs, desires, hopes, expectations, values, and behaviours that can be conducive to success or challenges. When you start to experience your imposter, take a moment to step back, and “see it from their perspective”:
Tune into your imposter as a part of You
What is this part of you noticing, and is concerned about?
How is it seeing this situation?
What is the “risk” in this situation you are facing that is a trigger?
What is your imposter trying to protect you from? Failure, embarrassment, sadness?
Why is it SO loud right now? Maybe you aren’t listening to some valuable information? (Drowning out the noise rarely works!)
Tune into its gift
What is it trying to tell you?
What is the gift here? How is your imposter serving, and, not serving you?
What do you need to reframe? (You run the show darling, no one else!)
What is in front of you, and what is it you need to do to calm your imposter? (Notice, the ownership is with you here…)
What is the reality and what is an assumption here?
What do you need to accept in terms of simply not being “perfect”? (Hooray for that!)
What facts can you gather from this? What do you need to build your strengths, what do you need to learn, or, is it simply that you don’t believe in yourself? (Believe when you “do”!)
What do you need to accept and reject so you can walk into the experience with a sense of knowing that you are enough?
Remember, when your imposter syndrome is noisy, it is functioning on past experiences, which is very different from the here and now. How can you possibly know the outcome when you haven’t walked forward?
Suspend judgement and assumption
Recognise you may be judging at this moment on past experience, everything is different so don’t rely on your “memory stick”.
Know you may be scared, so be “in the experience”
It is healthy to have fear of the unknown, so allow it to be just that. We cannot control all outcomes or know everything, and there is a beauty in that…. allow yourself to be in the journey.
You are not meant to be perfect, you aren’t a doll
My oh my, wouldn’t we be all super disliked if we were perfect! We are not programmed this way, be at ease with the process of learning, with the unknown, with trial and error…. but just do it.
Trust in the process, trust in movement, in you.
Know that movement, is always positive. We are not metaphorical boats in dry dock.it is a place of safety, yes, but boats are not built to stagnate and be on pause for fear of the journey. Their purpose? Your purpose? To experience, explore, discover I chartered territory….. take ownership of you, the vessel of possibility! Fear causes stagnation and negative thinking, if you don’t travel outside of your comfort zone, your imposter keeps you in the harbour… who wants that!?
Take off the bubble wrap
Our imposter acts to protect and shield us in some way. We are not a fragile ceramic, we do not need bubble wrapping! When we allow the bubble wrap effect to take hold, it impacts our growth, our innate potential, our exploration of the new…. and it produced stagnation, fear and limiting beliefs. Ever popped the bubble wrap and it’s hugely satisfying? Slip it off and pop it… it’s meant for ceramics, not you!
About Betty and where to find her
As a Transpersonal Mindset Coach, my role is to facilitate your best thinking, to promote change, real, significant change. How you evaluate yourself, others and the world has a huge impact on your direction, life choices and goals both at work and in your private life.
Through individual, group and corporate coaching, I support in a non-directive way, to allow you to pull at your knotted threads that hold you back from truly unlocking your innate potential. Working through how you handle change, your stagnation patterns, your private logic, your perfectionist/critic/saboteur/imposter/pleaser and others that inhibit your choices, I create a personal programme that has you at the centre of it, or else, what is the point of coaching if it isn’t attuned to your needs?
My role? To encourage, to stretch and challenge, to explore triggers, to literally “hear” yourself…. to create a good working relationship with your internal architecture! Once you do this, everything falls into place; You have more personal insight, ownership and accountability, courage, resilience, self-esteem, less judgment and more curiosity! You simply “feel” different, and this transpersonal shift creates the change. You see things differently, and this is a powerhouse of opportunity – fact!
Based in Hampshire, Betty is offering readers of Winchesther 15% off a 6 coaching sessions, so of you feel you want to get some sh%# dealt with once and for all… get in touch! Betty@TheMindsetAtchitect.co.uk
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